Saturday, January 28, 2006
This week has been really touching for me. Really touched by many of the people around me, especially at a time when I was not in a v upbeat mood. Really wanna thanks alot of people..
Thanks NAF people, for the farewell party and the very personal gift. Thanks for the help throughtout the opening carnival. All the bests for the v-day carnival and closing.
Thanks Yiting, Flo, Jac and Bren , for celebrating my birthday at Farmart. Great to see you guys, given that we seldom have time to meet up. Esp my little sis - Yiting, thanks for everything.
Thanks Cindy, for remembering my birthday and the cute mug
Thanks Yuxian, Yi En, Zhenjia and Sok Ching, for the dinner last night at Cafe Cartel and the wallet. Haha I will definitely use it from now on...
Thanks Qiujie, for the present.
Thanks CV kias - for always there and listen to my blabbering and nonsense on MSN whenever I am down. Work hard towards the concert k? We will make it even a bigger success.
Thanks all my friends, who been there for me whenever I need to let out my fustrations, everyone who messaged me. Thank you.
And of course, My IGUALANS!~. Thanks guys for being there all the times. And not forgetting the surprise last night at my void deck. It is the best present that I have received, really I am really caught unaware and touched. I know many of u guys aren't having a smooth time at the moment, yet you guys still took the effort to give me such a surprise. I dunno what I can say, Thanks..really thanks. I am sorry that I might neglected most of you guys recently, but let's move into the new lunar year happily k? It's our year, time to rocks..
Lastly, thanks for everything u haf done. for organising the farewell, for willing to listen to me when I wanna tok, for the msg tis morning. To you, it is just a simple bdae wish. To me, it meant everything for this birthday. Thank you.
THANKS FOR EVERYTHING!!!!!
GONG XI FA CAI!!~
logged ; 1:56 PM
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
today i learnt the meaning of be happy with small little things....
shujun brought up a good point yesterday....sometimes we r too obsessed in having things our own way, that we actually forgot to appreciate what we already have in our hands. How many times have we take things for granted...i guess we will only appreciate this point when something bad happened in our lives..
anyway today, i realised that sometimes small little things are enough to keep me happy and i shall not be to particular abt certain things. I must learn to look things from a different perspective, maybe i will be happier that way...
logged ; 6:02 PM
Sometimes it is amazing that how small little actions can brighten up one's day.
As mentioned in my earlier post, I wasn't looking forward to the NAF meeting as I expect a tense evaluation session. However to my surprise, everybody managed to keep a cool head and evaluated in a calm and systematic manner. That's pretty great as I think in a way, everybody realised the importance of working together and communicating effectively. In addition, the guys always threw a farewell party for me, and I was really very touched by it. Din expect it at all, especially given the tense week we had earlier. But it was really nice of them. However what touched me most is one of the presents that they gave me - a photo album with little cards that each of them wrote for me. It was really a personal and nice gesture which somehow brighten my day. Looking back, we started out as strangers and now we have all become friends. Kinda feel sad tt just when we r getting to know each other betta, I hafta leave. Anyway all the bests NAF for the 2nd and final lap. Looking forward to news from u guys. Also like to thanks Cindy for the lovely mug...keep in contact k..by the way do take the opportunity when it's here...i think it will be an experience for you..
I read shujun and song's entries on CV, and I hafta agreed with shujun. Neva did I expect that a simple acquantaince with the alumni choir will develop into such an important part of my life. I have made so many great friends, did things that i nv tot i will do, and saturdays are now always reserved for CV. Keep it going CV, being in it is one of the proudest thing i've ever done.
Kinda disappointed that Nelson isn't pleased with CV, but i guess that is expected. Really hope that he will not be unhappy with us for long, and I hope tat he will be able to attend our concert in Aug. In fact, I hope that all of the mentors to CV will be able to attend our concert this yr. Mrs Ong, Thomas, Nelson. Ferdi and the rest. Cos i think without them, most of the CV kias wun stick to singing, or wun even get a chance to experience choral singing. In a way, CV may not even exist if not for their guidance and support in the early years. Hopefully, they will attend...
logged ; 3:33 PM
Monday, January 23, 2006
these days have not been the greatest days of all...and i can see that it is not just me who is feeling the blues, and i know nothing that i can say help, cos only words from the person that matters can cure the blues. but still, let's go through the grey period together strongly..i'm sure we will make it...i am v sure..
currently rotting in the school pc lab, waiting for tonight's meeting at 7.30. In a way, i am not looking forward to the meeting at all. I know it is going to be an explosive and tiring session, given the unhappiness generated during last week's event. And i am so bloody sick and tired of trying to resolve such human relations problems. Why can't everybody work with each other amicably, why cannot some people accept other criticism or comments? i am just so tired...Furthermore, she will be there and i dunno whether to be happy or sad to see her. Ya, i promised her to be positive and be happy, but i really cannot do that. Everyday i woke up with a heavy feeling, i just cannot motivate myself to do work, to move on. I will just stone and sleep all day long...Why it is so hard to let go.
I will be leaving soon, din realise that i am only 2 weeks away from departure, and somehow i am not very happy. I think i cannot bear to leave the ppl here, it seem like that alot of things can happen in 6 mths, and i dunno what will happen. Being a pessimistic person, I am not thinking of the good things either.
Someone mentioned that I need to get rid of the demons in my heart and learn to trust again. But how? I also want to go n trust a person wholly again, and maybe then i will be happier, but i just cannot do that. I just cannot wholly trust anyone ard me, not my family, not igualans, and not even her whom i tot i love so much...i am skeptical abt everything that happens ard me, everything that has been said to me. And i agree that my life is darker becos of this.
If there is any remedy for curing skeptism or to regain trust in human relations again, please let me know k? i will be most willing to be the guinea pig..
logged ; 4:48 PM
Thursday, January 19, 2006
finally the long week is about to be over....
Finally finished with Nanyang Arts Fest opening, at least for the opening performances. It've been an experience organising the event, and i think i learnt alot of things, esp in managing human relations. Really feeling dead tired, spending so many late nights in school preparing for the opening. i think i haben spoke to my parents for a week....Overall i think it've been a pretty successful opening, actually looking forward to the v-day carnival, but sadly that i will not be in singapore by then anymore.
A couple of things happened this week too, in a way i thought it wun affect me that much. But i guess some things are really harder than what i thought. Maybe due to fatigue and occupation with the prepations, I din really feel much initally. But when i was resting just now, i just feel all the emotions pouring in. I really do not know how to move on, or what to do...In a way, I am overwhelmed with a combination of emotions. And i haf to act nonchalant about it, i haf to remain happy in front of her so that she wun feel bad...i haf to be happy in front of the rest of committee so that i dun affect their mood, i haf to act happy in front of my friends cos i dun want to talk much abt it..but it is really suffocating me, and here is only where i can just let it all out....
Seriously, i duno how to look towards my Beijing stint. In a way, I cannot bear the people and the activities here. But then i think the stint will maybe give me an opportunity to get away from here, to get over my unhappiness.... To try and redjust myself and give myself some time ponder over my life. Probably to find a new direction, a new mindset and a new benjing. And maybe.....maybe
I will feel happier in Beijing than here..
Sometimes all i wants is just someone to be my side, to share her life with me, to share my life with her..
Is that such a difficult wish?
logged ; 8:20 PM
Friday, January 13, 2006
Yet another late night...the past week has been a real cracker. Baically everyday I'm in school rushing my work for the Nanyang Arts Fest. I think the number of times I go to school this month already exceed the no of times I went school last sem. If only I am that hardworking in my books.
NAF is gonna kick off next week, months of hard work finally gonna paid off ( hopefully). It has been an experience working with the committee. Of cos there are some unpleasant experiences, but overall I think it have been an experience dealing with different kind of people. Anyway here's some of my publicity materials,
Dunno why i cannot load my poster...darnz..shall load it some other time then. Hope that next week carnival will turn out fine....
Sometimes I just feel that i can shout out my inner feelings. But often, I cannot. No matter how strongly I may feel, i still have to act nonchalant about it. Why things just cannot be straightfoward and clear cut or is it that i just do not dare to express them.
There's voice in my head, telling me that things will nv work out the way i hope them to be, but i still cannot help falling in it. Can someone wake me up? Can someone stop me from being a fool again.
每一次和你分开
深深的被你打败
每一次放弃你的温柔
痛苦难以释怀
每一次和你分开
每一次kiss you Goodbye
爱情的滋味此刻
我终于最明白
终于最明白
logged ; 4:09 AM
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
so 2005 had just passed me by....guess is time for me to do some reflections..
looking back, many things have happened in 2005, in one way and another, i think i have changed, and certain my life as well. I guess the best thing that had happened to me in 2005, gotta be my stint with Common.Voices. Other making new friends, I think being the president taught me quite a few things. Although i'm not sure whether I've done a good job, i certainly treasured every moment of it. Ya, certainly is fustrating at time, managing the choir, handling the PR, blah blah blah. But the times we spent practising, the times we spent outside choir, and the times during our performance simply made up for any fustrating or unhappy moment. Looking at CV grows day by day, there is just a kind of unspeakable proud feeling.
However the thing I regret most is that I have spent less time with the Igualans. No doubt, I've not spent enough time to care and concern abt them, and our busy lives do not help alot. Really wish that we could meet up more often and talk more.
Anyway as most of you guys shd noe, I will leaving for Beijing for IA soon. I somehow got mixed feelings abt it. Much as I am excited abt the stint, I think I gonna miss everyone here. Dad, Mum, Bro, Igualans, CV, the SA gang and the rest. Not sure how things will be like, when I come back. I think I will feel lonely, especially I am going there together with ppl that I do not know. But I really relish the challenge, hoping that I can really survive and do well in a foreign land alone.
Alrite, enough of crap...here some photos taken during CV's xmas carolling. Really grateful for all the hard work put in the guys. Thanks CV kias...
COMMON.VOICES @ GOODWOOD PARK
logged ; 3:04 AM
Saturday, January 28, 2006
This week has been really touching for me. Really touched by many of the people around me, especially at a time when I was not in a v upbeat mood. Really wanna thanks alot of people..
Thanks NAF people, for the farewell party and the very personal gift. Thanks for the help throughtout the opening carnival. All the bests for the v-day carnival and closing.
Thanks Yiting, Flo, Jac and Bren , for celebrating my birthday at Farmart. Great to see you guys, given that we seldom have time to meet up. Esp my little sis - Yiting, thanks for everything.
Thanks Cindy, for remembering my birthday and the cute mug
Thanks Yuxian, Yi En, Zhenjia and Sok Ching, for the dinner last night at Cafe Cartel and the wallet. Haha I will definitely use it from now on...
Thanks Qiujie, for the present.
Thanks CV kias - for always there and listen to my blabbering and nonsense on MSN whenever I am down. Work hard towards the concert k? We will make it even a bigger success.
Thanks all my friends, who been there for me whenever I need to let out my fustrations, everyone who messaged me. Thank you.
And of course, My IGUALANS!~. Thanks guys for being there all the times. And not forgetting the surprise last night at my void deck. It is the best present that I have received, really I am really caught unaware and touched. I know many of u guys aren't having a smooth time at the moment, yet you guys still took the effort to give me such a surprise. I dunno what I can say, Thanks..really thanks. I am sorry that I might neglected most of you guys recently, but let's move into the new lunar year happily k? It's our year, time to rocks..
Lastly, thanks for everything u haf done. for organising the farewell, for willing to listen to me when I wanna tok, for the msg tis morning. To you, it is just a simple bdae wish. To me, it meant everything for this birthday. Thank you.
THANKS FOR EVERYTHING!!!!!
GONG XI FA CAI!!~
logged ; 1:56 PM
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
today i learnt the meaning of be happy with small little things....
shujun brought up a good point yesterday....sometimes we r too obsessed in having things our own way, that we actually forgot to appreciate what we already have in our hands. How many times have we take things for granted...i guess we will only appreciate this point when something bad happened in our lives..
anyway today, i realised that sometimes small little things are enough to keep me happy and i shall not be to particular abt certain things. I must learn to look things from a different perspective, maybe i will be happier that way...
logged ; 6:02 PM
Sometimes it is amazing that how small little actions can brighten up one's day.
As mentioned in my earlier post, I wasn't looking forward to the NAF meeting as I expect a tense evaluation session. However to my surprise, everybody managed to keep a cool head and evaluated in a calm and systematic manner. That's pretty great as I think in a way, everybody realised the importance of working together and communicating effectively. In addition, the guys always threw a farewell party for me, and I was really very touched by it. Din expect it at all, especially given the tense week we had earlier. But it was really nice of them. However what touched me most is one of the presents that they gave me - a photo album with little cards that each of them wrote for me. It was really a personal and nice gesture which somehow brighten my day. Looking back, we started out as strangers and now we have all become friends. Kinda feel sad tt just when we r getting to know each other betta, I hafta leave. Anyway all the bests NAF for the 2nd and final lap. Looking forward to news from u guys. Also like to thanks Cindy for the lovely mug...keep in contact k..by the way do take the opportunity when it's here...i think it will be an experience for you..
I read shujun and song's entries on CV, and I hafta agreed with shujun. Neva did I expect that a simple acquantaince with the alumni choir will develop into such an important part of my life. I have made so many great friends, did things that i nv tot i will do, and saturdays are now always reserved for CV. Keep it going CV, being in it is one of the proudest thing i've ever done.
Kinda disappointed that Nelson isn't pleased with CV, but i guess that is expected. Really hope that he will not be unhappy with us for long, and I hope tat he will be able to attend our concert in Aug. In fact, I hope that all of the mentors to CV will be able to attend our concert this yr. Mrs Ong, Thomas, Nelson. Ferdi and the rest. Cos i think without them, most of the CV kias wun stick to singing, or wun even get a chance to experience choral singing. In a way, CV may not even exist if not for their guidance and support in the early years. Hopefully, they will attend...
logged ; 3:33 PM
Monday, January 23, 2006
these days have not been the greatest days of all...and i can see that it is not just me who is feeling the blues, and i know nothing that i can say help, cos only words from the person that matters can cure the blues. but still, let's go through the grey period together strongly..i'm sure we will make it...i am v sure..
currently rotting in the school pc lab, waiting for tonight's meeting at 7.30. In a way, i am not looking forward to the meeting at all. I know it is going to be an explosive and tiring session, given the unhappiness generated during last week's event. And i am so bloody sick and tired of trying to resolve such human relations problems. Why can't everybody work with each other amicably, why cannot some people accept other criticism or comments? i am just so tired...Furthermore, she will be there and i dunno whether to be happy or sad to see her. Ya, i promised her to be positive and be happy, but i really cannot do that. Everyday i woke up with a heavy feeling, i just cannot motivate myself to do work, to move on. I will just stone and sleep all day long...Why it is so hard to let go.
I will be leaving soon, din realise that i am only 2 weeks away from departure, and somehow i am not very happy. I think i cannot bear to leave the ppl here, it seem like that alot of things can happen in 6 mths, and i dunno what will happen. Being a pessimistic person, I am not thinking of the good things either.
Someone mentioned that I need to get rid of the demons in my heart and learn to trust again. But how? I also want to go n trust a person wholly again, and maybe then i will be happier, but i just cannot do that. I just cannot wholly trust anyone ard me, not my family, not igualans, and not even her whom i tot i love so much...i am skeptical abt everything that happens ard me, everything that has been said to me. And i agree that my life is darker becos of this.
If there is any remedy for curing skeptism or to regain trust in human relations again, please let me know k? i will be most willing to be the guinea pig..
logged ; 4:48 PM
Thursday, January 19, 2006
finally the long week is about to be over....
Finally finished with Nanyang Arts Fest opening, at least for the opening performances. It've been an experience organising the event, and i think i learnt alot of things, esp in managing human relations. Really feeling dead tired, spending so many late nights in school preparing for the opening. i think i haben spoke to my parents for a week....Overall i think it've been a pretty successful opening, actually looking forward to the v-day carnival, but sadly that i will not be in singapore by then anymore.
A couple of things happened this week too, in a way i thought it wun affect me that much. But i guess some things are really harder than what i thought. Maybe due to fatigue and occupation with the prepations, I din really feel much initally. But when i was resting just now, i just feel all the emotions pouring in. I really do not know how to move on, or what to do...In a way, I am overwhelmed with a combination of emotions. And i haf to act nonchalant about it, i haf to remain happy in front of her so that she wun feel bad...i haf to be happy in front of the rest of committee so that i dun affect their mood, i haf to act happy in front of my friends cos i dun want to talk much abt it..but it is really suffocating me, and here is only where i can just let it all out....
Seriously, i duno how to look towards my Beijing stint. In a way, I cannot bear the people and the activities here. But then i think the stint will maybe give me an opportunity to get away from here, to get over my unhappiness.... To try and redjust myself and give myself some time ponder over my life. Probably to find a new direction, a new mindset and a new benjing. And maybe.....maybe
I will feel happier in Beijing than here..
Sometimes all i wants is just someone to be my side, to share her life with me, to share my life with her..
Is that such a difficult wish?
logged ; 8:20 PM
Friday, January 13, 2006
Yet another late night...the past week has been a real cracker. Baically everyday I'm in school rushing my work for the Nanyang Arts Fest. I think the number of times I go to school this month already exceed the no of times I went school last sem. If only I am that hardworking in my books.
NAF is gonna kick off next week, months of hard work finally gonna paid off ( hopefully). It has been an experience working with the committee. Of cos there are some unpleasant experiences, but overall I think it have been an experience dealing with different kind of people. Anyway here's some of my publicity materials,
Dunno why i cannot load my poster...darnz..shall load it some other time then. Hope that next week carnival will turn out fine....
Sometimes I just feel that i can shout out my inner feelings. But often, I cannot. No matter how strongly I may feel, i still have to act nonchalant about it. Why things just cannot be straightfoward and clear cut or is it that i just do not dare to express them.
There's voice in my head, telling me that things will nv work out the way i hope them to be, but i still cannot help falling in it. Can someone wake me up? Can someone stop me from being a fool again.
每一次和你分开
深深的被你打败
每一次放弃你的温柔
痛苦难以释怀
每一次和你分开
每一次kiss you Goodbye
爱情的滋味此刻
我终于最明白
终于最明白
logged ; 4:09 AM
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
so 2005 had just passed me by....guess is time for me to do some reflections..
looking back, many things have happened in 2005, in one way and another, i think i have changed, and certain my life as well. I guess the best thing that had happened to me in 2005, gotta be my stint with Common.Voices. Other making new friends, I think being the president taught me quite a few things. Although i'm not sure whether I've done a good job, i certainly treasured every moment of it. Ya, certainly is fustrating at time, managing the choir, handling the PR, blah blah blah. But the times we spent practising, the times we spent outside choir, and the times during our performance simply made up for any fustrating or unhappy moment. Looking at CV grows day by day, there is just a kind of unspeakable proud feeling.
However the thing I regret most is that I have spent less time with the Igualans. No doubt, I've not spent enough time to care and concern abt them, and our busy lives do not help alot. Really wish that we could meet up more often and talk more.
Anyway as most of you guys shd noe, I will leaving for Beijing for IA soon. I somehow got mixed feelings abt it. Much as I am excited abt the stint, I think I gonna miss everyone here. Dad, Mum, Bro, Igualans, CV, the SA gang and the rest. Not sure how things will be like, when I come back. I think I will feel lonely, especially I am going there together with ppl that I do not know. But I really relish the challenge, hoping that I can really survive and do well in a foreign land alone.
Alrite, enough of crap...here some photos taken during CV's xmas carolling. Really grateful for all the hard work put in the guys. Thanks CV kias...
COMMON.VOICES @ GOODWOOD PARK
logged ; 3:04 AM
